“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”
-J.R.R. Tolkein, The Fellowship of the Ring
Did you know I’m getting married in 351 days?! And the world is chalk full of marriage advice. Everyone is ready to throw in their two-cents. A quick Google search will give you more input on marriage than you ever wanted. My philosophical mind has been found wandering off to the real of the sanctity of this commitment. I think to myself, “What will make this a great marriage? Do I need to change anything to be ready for this commitment? What will our relationship be like 10 even 20 years from now?” A marriage proposal creates a buzz of excitement in a couple’s world, but leave it to me to be very serious and deliberate about something so joyful. But I know one thing about my relationship with The Mister and how our marriage will be:
It will be filled with things relating to The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Not too many couples can say they have sat down and watched the entire extended version of the films together. And we have begun (but put on the back burner) reading the books together. We have even considered having messages in elvish engraved on our wedding bands. We love the truths that lie in the philosophies of those books. We take some of the life advice the tale has to offer to heart. But the quote at the beginning of this post really rings true to our relationship. And here’s why:
1. We Promise Every Day to be Faithful to Each Other
To those that we nauseate with our lovey-dovey professions, we are not sorry. We use all forms of communication to share our love and commitment to each other and that includes verbal communication. Every single day, The Mister, and I reaffirm that we are there to love and support and encourage one another. We recommit every single day. And then we follow through with our actions – always being open and honest, trustworthy, and considerate of each other. We are faithful.
2. That Means Even When the Road Gets Dark
And there are times when things get dark. The 2 year anniversary of the death of The Mister’s mother is approaching. And mourning is a dark road to walk. But he will not walk it alone. I will stay faithful and continue to tell him and show him my love and commitment. There are times when money stresses us out, but we stay faithful. We both suffer from depression and anxiety and those times are dark and scary, but we stay faithful. There will come a time when I may have to go off of my anti-depressant to start a family with The Mister and that scares me, but I know that being faithful means sticking together through it. I know, I really really know, that marriage is a commitment that is made “for better or for worse”. And those worse times may exceed anything that we can imagine at 22 and 25. But being faithful to one another as we promise means giving it our best even when the road gets dark.
3. Our Marriage Will Be No Exception
You may think, “Well, you kids are still in the early parts of your relationship. You haven’t been together that long. You are just naive.” But we take this engagement very seriously. We love each other truly and unconditionally. I have exhausted the “what ifs”. What if one of us becomes severely disabled? What if one of our children ends up in prison? What if one of us is unable to have children? What if our families, for one reason or another, were not supportive? Well, I’m saying right now that our marriage will continue to be a daily commitment to love each other the best that we can and to stay faithful and honor one another. Forever is a long time to say that you will be faithful to someone, but forever is what I want when it comes to him.
One Final Thought:
To The Mister – I cherish what we have and who you are as a person. As we grow and change in life, I promise to be faithful. I promise to share all of life’s experiences with you, even when the road gets dark. I love you.